Emotions are our reactions to situations or events that happen around us. Emotions are an important part of our lives that make us more meaningful human beings, allowing us to connect with others and understand their feelings. Moreover, emotions make us more honest in expressing ourselves.
Some people are able to face challenges and obstacles with calmness and self-control. Doing something that feels comfortable or pleasant is a natural impulse of our body. Yet, our ego colors the world in such a way that we remain untainted.
However, there is often a clash within our subconscious mind—between truth and falsehood—creating feelings of tension and discomfort as a result of holding two conflicting ideas at the same time. This is the side effect of the tension between the soul and the ego when we choose to either accept reality or reduce disharmony.
When we are exhausted and tense, our ego tries to repair our world by eliminating anything that could hurt or expose our flaws, both to ourselves and to others.
Because we constantly worry about potential threats to our self-image, we remain on high alert. We hide behind carefully constructed faces and identities we build to protect ourselves. We no longer live for ourselves—we exist merely to protect our image, which is the ego.
We may not even realize how much our attitudes, behaviors, values, and beliefs are shaped to avoid self-reflection, as a form of self-hatred, and to build an image that hides both. In doing so, we lose ourselves, following the rules of others to earn their approval. No wonder we never feel truly satisfied.
When we don’t love ourselves, we cannot give love, nor can we feel loved. Even when affection and praise are abundant, we experience a different reality of love. In the end, we feel emptiness and anger within ourselves.
When we fail to appreciate ourselves, we push away the people we most desire in our lives, because we cannot understand why anyone would love someone as unworthy as we believe ourselves to be. Any affection or kindness that tries to reach us becomes hard to accept.
Friendly gestures may even make us uncomfortable, leading us to reject others before they have the chance to reject us. What makes things worse is that the lower our self-control, the more we try to manipulate events and people around us—especially those closest to us—either openly or in a passive-aggressive way.
We believe that self-control fosters self-respect; therefore, when we lose control, we feel the need to control someone or something to feel powerful.
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Consequently, low self-esteem can unconsciously trigger a strong desire to seize power and mistreat the people who care about us. When we dislike ourselves, we cannot restrain the anger we feel toward our own being, and we end up projecting it onto the world and those who love us the most.
By understanding the psychology of emotion, we can develop the ability to manage our emotions and become stronger and more resilient in the face of difficulties.
The psychology of emotion helps us become wiser and more effective in daily life. We can control our ego so that our anger becomes healthier.
With self-control, we can feel loved with genuine affection and avoid losing ourselves. We also avoid the exhaustion and inner tension that often burden us.
Penulis: Dea Angellika
Mahasiswa Akuntansi Sektor Publik Universitas Harkat Negeri Tegal
Editor: Ika Ayuni Lestari
Bahasa: Rahmat Al Kafi
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